I’ve always thought of myself as a reasonable man. And then I started to think about what the word ‘reasonable’ actually means. When I say I’m reasonable am I saying I have sound judgement, that I’m fair and sensible? That sounds reasonable. It doesn’t feel quite right thought, does it? There’s the suggestion of only having moderate expectations. A reasonable man doesn’t hope for too much out of life. And that’s true of me too. I keep my expectations in check. So I’m rarely disappointed. But I still do get disappointed. So maybe I’m not doing it right. When someone asks you to be reasonable what are they really asking? For you to give the matter some thought? Or to back down. Or at least to give ground. Reasonable people settle. 

In 1989 there was much about me that was settled. I’d recovered from the hiccup that was my first marriage and was pretty much where I would’ve expected to be at thirty. A reasonable man would count his blessings; pay the mortgage, check the air, oil and water in the car; mow the lawn; remember Valentine’s Day and his wedding anniversary; be on time to visit with his kid and make sure the Blockbuster videos were wound back to the start and returned on time. Yeah, all that stuff and more. 

And yet.