Marital Row No. 693

The Batman would never
stand for this.

The Batman would never
have been caught like this.

Not The Batman.

We have a lot in common –
The Batman and I.

We both wear masks
but I don't have his strength.


25 March 1989
  
 

I don’t think I’ve ever had even three rows in my life that weren’t with my parents, “shouting matches” as my dad called them—good expression. So this is fictitious. I don’t think F. and I even rowed once in all the years we were together. We had disagreements but they never escalated into fights. I used to work with a woman called Donna who said she and her husband rowed all the time and she thought that was a good thing; she clearly enjoyed the make-up sex.

As for Batman, yes, he’s probably by favourite comic book hero. I haven’t seen Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice yet but I will get round to it. I feel like I’ve been reading about it for years. Last I heard the trailers when spliced together amounted to fifteen minutes of the actual film. I watched the very first trailer once and that’s been it. I just don’t get the film companies. They’re talking about films just now that won’t see the light of day until 2020 (Cyborg and Green Lantern Corps). By the time they hit the big screen—let alone the small screen—who’ll care any more? I remember this all started with Tim Burton’s Batman. I devoured anything I could to do with the film and so, when I finally did sit down to watch it, I was, predictably, disappointed; nothing—and I do mean NOTHING—could live up to the hype. Nowadays I read very little. Mostly I look at the pictures and skip the words.

‘Marital Row No. 693’ was first published in Psychopoetica #17; I keep forgetting to check before I upload these poems. There is precedence for the use of the definite article by the way. Detective Comics #567—the famous Harlan Ellison issue where Batman has the most uneventful night of his life—is subtitled Presents The Batman. There was also a tie-in to the Warner Bros animated series called The Batman Strikes.